Here’s the Fun Naughty Thing You’re Going to Do Next Week (You’re Welcome)
If you, like many couples, are finding yourselves in a bit of a sexual rut, one way to spark some excitement is to just… not show up.
To work, that is.
Regardless of whether you have a working stiff 9-to-5 day job in an office or you take shifts at a restaurant or store, everyone needs to bail on work at some point.
And while not every job is as easy to play hooky from as the next one, if you have any kind of job security (or at least paid days off you can use) taking a day off work to be amorous with your partner can be just what your relationship needs.
“Work can overrun our lives and minds. We often bring work home and find it hard to relax, unwind, and focus on being sexual,” say Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, co-authors of Designer Relationships, Partners in Passion. “Taking a day off to have a sexual adventure is a very romantic thing to do. It’s well-known that people tend to have more sex when on vacation, and taking a day off can be a mini-vacation.”
While you may be working on a big project at work or feel like you’re overwhelmed by your ever-growing to-do list, consider the effect it’s also having on your relationship and your connection to your partner.
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An unplanned day away from your job may make you anxious, but the benefits you’ll reap — and the sex you’ll have! — will make it worth it. Here’s why taking a random day off of work together can bring back your sexual fire and build intimacy:
1. Being Spontaneous Is Sexy
Let’s face it: no matter how invigorating your sex life is, redundancy can set in pretty quickly.
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Especially if you’re living together, you may have fewer hookups than you did when you were dating, and you may miss that urgency that came with seeing each other a few times a week instead of every night.
Michaels and Johnson say that taking a random day off, without planning anything, will force you both to be spontaneous together. Since you’re off work, morning sex doesn’t have to be rushed and you, ahem, do things from behind to avoid morning breath.
You also can have an afternoon quickie if you’re in the mood — but do it somewhere unexpected, somewhere that’s not as busy at 2 p.m. (the gym anyone?).
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In the end, getting out of your day-to-day routine can be arousing. Think of it like vacation sex — minus the vacation.
2. You’ll Both Feel Naughty
Even if your work environment is pretty relaxed, taking a day off when you don’t actually have a fever or a dentist appointment may make you anxious.
If you go out together, you and/or your partner may even worry about getting caught by a coworker, or even your boss. But you may just find that the risk factor renders the experience more exciting.
“You’ll both be on a mission to get away with something forbidden,” says Esther Boykin, a licensed love and relationship therapist. “This can really spice up the sexual activity and be a great way to alleviate the buildup of stress and pressure.”
3. You’ll Feel Closer to Each Other
It may not appear that obvious, but by teaming up to make sure no one ever knows you skipped out on work, you’ll build trust in one another. You’re keeping each other’s secret, and you’re spending the day doing whatever you want — but mostly, things you want to do as a couple.
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Maybe there’s a free museum that’s only free on weekdays and you’ve never been able to go. Or you simply want to take the car out and enjoy the wind and mild traffic of a midday cruise. The fact that you’re doing it together will remind the both of you how much you value each other’s time and company.
4. You Don’t Have to Plan a Date Night
While having a set date night can be healthy for a long-term relationship, it can also create a lot of intense pressure on the both of you to feel romantic, even when you’re not in the mood.
The beauty of playing hooky is that the entire day becomes a date, and a low-key one that lends itself to doing whatever you want.
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“Let the day unfold based on your desires and mood,” says Boykin. “Maybe you want to order in food and then have sex, or perhaps you’d rather head down to the kitchen and make some breakfast or lunch. Do you want to go out and see a movie and then come back and have sex?”
“You can spend the entire day in bed — or not,” Boykin adds. “Take a shower together — or maybe not. Make it a blend of your mutual desires. The sex, the activities, the food…the possibilities and combinations are endless and completely up to you and your partner. Let your desires dictate the day.”
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