How to Handle the V-Day Celebrations Like a Pro, No Matter What Stage of the Relationship You’re On
Let’s paint a picture we bet will be familiar to you fellas in relationships out there: Valentine’s Day is coming on February 14, same as it does every year, and you probably feel a lot of pressure to make the day special for your special person.
Valentine’s Day is the calendar’s first significant for couples new and old, and figuring out how you’re going to make the day memorable will create some serious stress for you over the coming days and weeks. Part of the trouble is that it isn’t just about what to do, where to eat and drink, and what to give your significant other; it’s also about making choices that are appropriate to your specific relationship.
If you’ve just started dating in the last few weeks or months, you have our permission to keep it fairly casual: a dinner reservation, some flowers or chocolates, a movie. But what if you’ve been dating for a year, or five, or ten? What if you’ve been fighting or drifting apart?
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To help de-stress V-Day and simplify your life, we picked eight common scenarios you might face this year and offered up suggestions, solutions, date ideas and more.
1. When You’ve Just Started Dating
You’re at the point where you haven’t made it official, but you could see it heading that way. The beginning stages of a new relationship are both filled with excitement and anxiety, where you’re trying not to say either too much or too little. If you’ve already been intimate, a good way to turn up the heat and move things forward is by organizing a thoughtful, romantic dinner.
Whether dining in at a restaurant is an option or not, a nice meal together is a good approach. If your cooking skills aren’t up to snuff yet and you don’t feel confident preparing something yourself, opt for a reservation at a local place, or delivery or takeout from their favorite spot.
Afterwards, if you’re both into a few drinks, why not indulge in some Valentine’s Day cocktails? This is your opportunity to work on building your intimacy and passion together, which will help solidify your connection.
2. When You’re Going Through a Rough Patch
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, sometimes, things just aren’t easy in a relationship. If you’re going through a tough time with your partner, consider taking it old school with a long, open love note.
Here, you can detail all of the unique, impressive qualities that made you attracted to them in the first place, along with the reasons why you’re fully committed to improving your bond in the years to come.
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Within these pages, you can suggest a date at one of their favorite restaurants, followed by a nice wine bar — once they open, of course. A little spontaneity to get you out of the routine that’s messing with your relationship may help to open up the dialogue to set things back on track.
3. When You’ve Just Said ‘I Love You’
If you’re at the point where you’re uttering those three simple words every chance you get, Valentine’s Day is likely a holiday you and your partner are excited about. While Cupid’s busiest day of the year might have felt over-commercialized in the past, when you’re smothered in those feel-good vibes, Valentine’s Day might take on a rosier meaning now.
Let your gushy heart be your guide and go all out on the romantic gestures, starting with flowers.
RELATED: How to Buy Your Partner Flowers, Explained
Many people enjoy a surprise bouquet (especially if you remember their preferences) delivered to their home, so they can brag to their friends about the wonderful partner who was thoughtful enough to send them.
P.S. According to OrganicBouquet.com, the majority of flower orders are placed on February 11, so beat the rush and order some now.
3. When You’ve Been Dating Over a Year
The honeymoon stage has passed, and at this point, you’re learning to settle into one another.
Use the holiday as an opportunity to book a getaway just for the two of you, whether you’re flying across the globe or just hopping in a car and escaping to somewhere rural and romantic.
And as a bonus, getting out of your normal routine will often bring some of that gotta-have-you kind of sex that’s undeniable.
3. When They’re Really Stressed Out
Even in the happiest of relationships, outside stresses — such as issues with work or health or family or ongoing global pandemics — can put a damper on things. If things are rough around Valentine’s Day, your partner might want to do something low-key to avoid adding more to their plate.
RELATED: How to Support a Partner Through a Difficult Time
You ready for the challenge? Here’s where getting creative and considering their preferences is the best option. You want them to know you’re aware of how busy they have been, and that your relationship and their happiness are a priority.
Remember, it’s not about racking up the most on your credit card — a cheap Valentine’s Day gift can be good! Instead, it’s about showing them you remembered and that you care.
4. When You Want to Spice Up Your Sex Life
The longer couples are together, the more comfortable they get with everything, from date nights to household chores, and of course, sex.
By now, you already know the right amount of pressure to apply to their most sensitive areas, where they like to be kissed, and what position makes them orgasm. While this is all part of understanding your partner from the inside out, there’s more to be done to turn up the intensity of your love life.
For your Valentine’s Day celebration, you should cook dinner at home. Then, focus on making the evening all about them. Whether that involves drawing a bubble bath for two, giving a hot oil massage, or gifting her a new, sexy bathrobe, the more comfortable and loved they feel, the more likely they’ll be to explore things with you.
When it’s time to have sex, take your time going down on them. By initiating oral sex and making sure they’re warmed up and ready to go, you’ll make the sex hotter. From here, suggest a new position you want to try, or bring out a toy you’ve purchased. They’ll be impressed by your bedroom efforts.
5. When You’re Broke Newlyweds
If you just got married within the last year, you’re likely still working on getting your savings back to where they were before tying the knot. This can cause stress in your relationship as many couples argue over finances and their plans for the future.
The week of Valentine’s Day, put the money chat on hold and instead, focus on the point of the holiday. Make it your mission to recreate a smaller version of the magic from the day you said “I do.” Start by bringing out those wedding photos, picking up a cake similar to the one you had at your reception, and grabbing a nice bottle of champagne.
They’ll love the sweet attention to detail, and might even be inspired to recreate some of that super hot, gotta-have-my-husband-right-now honeymoon sex, too.
There are also a number of cheap Valentine’s Day gifts to choose from if you’re feeling a little uninspired, bouquet-wise.
6. When You’re Recently Single
Most men (78 percent to be exact) don’t mind if they’re dateless on Valentine’s Day. Considering the stakes become instantly lower and your expenses significantly cheaper, being omitted from any celebratory gifts or obligations might feel refreshing. On the other hand, if you’re just out of a relationship, you might be missing the experience of being with someone you care about. This is a normal part of a recovery process that teaches you how to understand, process, and express your feelings in a healthy way.
To help make the love-oriented holiday pass less painfully, round up your single guy friends and coordinate a game night. Maybe that means some cooperative online gaming or tackling a board game over a Zoom call. Whatever you go with, the important thing is to reconnect with your closest buddies.
7. When They’re Not a Fan of V-Day
If your partner has casually mentioned that they don’t need to celebrate V-Day, take their word for it, but suggest doing something fun anyway with no rose petals or champagne required.
Try something neither of you have ever done before, whether that’s cooking a gourmet meal or starting a new Netflix series together. Whatever it might be, you don’t have to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to do something exciting. Instead, you’ll remember together the most exciting gift of all is the company of a partner in crime who says “yes” to your every whim and bright idea, no matter how crazy it might be.
8. When You’ve Been Together So Long That You Forgot to Plan Anything
Before you put yourself in the dog house, remember that there are plenty of last-minute romantic things and last-minute Valentine’s Day gifts for those who let the holiday slip their mind. Unless you confess to your tardiness, you don’t even have to concoct a little white lie to cover up your forgetfulness.
An easy solution when you’ve been dating someone for so long is opting to buy rose petals at the florist and make a scavenger hunt around the apartment, all with reasons they are wonderful, hot, sexy, and smart. The biggest thing to remember about this holiday is to just make it special for them. Show off your love!
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