Tips, Tricks and Products for Performing Mind-Blowing Oral Every Time
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If you want to get your partner off, it’s going to take more than a few hearty thrusts.
Research has found that only 18 percent of women ages 18 to 94 can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Nearly 37 percent of women needed clitoral stimulation to climax, and another 36 percent said that, while they didn’t need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, it enhanced the experience.
The takeaway? More mouth stuff is never a bad thing.
RELATED: Straight Facts About What Women Really Want From Oral
On that front, though, there seems to be a shortage when it comes to men delivering.
Research published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that heterosexual women are two times more likely to perform oral sex than men, even though they enjoy it less.
What’s more, a survey found that 59 percent of men ages 21 to 45 don’t know what their partner even likes when receiving oral sex.
While communication is usually the best way to find out someone’s interests in the bedroom, introducing the topic can be tough — only 30 percent of women feel comfortable telling their partner what they need to orgasm.
RELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner
To help, AskMen spoke with three experts on everything you could ever wish to know about oral sex.
What Is Oral Sex?
“Oral sex is oral-vaginal sex (cunnilingus), oral-penile sex (fellatio) and oral-anal sex (anilingus or rimming),” says Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, sexpert for LELO and NYU professor of human sexuality.
That can take the form of sucking, licking — even nibbling at times. Basically, if you’re using your mouth, lips and/or tongue to stimulate someone’s genitals, you are practicing oral sex.
The Benefits of Oral Sex
Oral sex feels great and primes the body for penetrative sex, helping the vagina self-lubricate and the penis become erect. If that weren’t enough, it’s good for our bodies as well.
“Sexual activity increases blood flow, resulting in lower blood pressure and decreased stress levels,” states Antonia Hall, psychologist and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. “Regular blood flow to the genitals helps keep them healthy and functional.”
Many believe oral sex helps them feel more connected to their partner, and if you’re someone who takes no issue in swallowing, semen contains spermatozoa, oxytocin and serotonin, all of which can elevate moods. It also contains melatonin, commonly used to help with sleep … so it’s practically a multivitamin.
RELATED: The Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life
The Best Tips for Cunnilingus
Cunnilingus, also known as eating someone out, is when someone performs oral sex on a person with a vagina. The focus is typically, but not always, on licking the clitoris, which, like the penis, is extremely sensitive and the site of many nerve endings, allowing for serious pleasure potential and a good likelihood of orgasm.
Get Comfortable Before You Start
“Adding a pillow under the hips and butt can make cunnilingus easier for the giver and more pleasurable for the receiver,” says Hall.
Be Sure to Go Slow
Despite the wonderful things you’ve heard about the clitoris, warm up the rest of the vulva first.
“Tease it, make it beg for you to touch the clit,” suggests Vrangalova. “Most clits are different from most penises, they don’t like to be handled much until they get a bit aroused already.”
Hall recommends using the tip of your tongue and lips to tease the inner thighs and along the pelvic bone.
Start With the Hood
After you’ve warmed up the vulva, refrain from going directly for the clit.
“Play with it over the clitoral hood instead,” says Vrangalova. “For many, the clit itself is too sensitive for direct stimulation. See how your partner responds, then try for the clitoris directly.”
RELATED: Understanding Vaginal Anatomy
Hall suggests you start light with a slow increase in pressure. “Using a flat tongue, slowly lick upward along the opening of the vagina, circling the clitoral hood,” she says.
Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment
Many vulva-owners like the licking motions more, but some prefer sucking and others even enjoy gentle biting or face rubbing.
RELATED: Unique Ways to Go Down on Her
To figure out which your partner prefers, Vrangalova recommends you experiment with different strokes and listen to your partner’s reactions. When you find a rhythm that works, stay consistent and do not change it too often.
Use Your Fingers
If your partner is up for it, cunnilingus can also be combined with fingering to offer clitoral and vaginal pleasure at the same time.
Check with them beforehand, but if they’re down, you can introduce your index finger into the vagina and start moving it back and forth in a “come hither” motion. Depending on the size and tightness of the vagina, and your partner’s comfort levels, you can experiment with adding more of your fingers.
Beware of Stubble Burn
With no substantial academic research on the topic, we asked our experts how women feel about men’s facial hair during oral sex.
“Everyone is different, of course, but I’d say that a beard might be most of a negative issue when it’s a stubble, because it can really scratch the vulvar area in an unpleasant way for many people,” suggests Vrangalova. “In those cases, try not to rub or grind your face hard against clit or vulva.”
“Keep your beard clean and oiled,” adds Hall.
If your partner really hates the sensation of your facial hair on their crotch, and you’re not down to shave it off, you can place a protective barrier between your beard and your partner’s genitals while pleasuring them. Dental dams offer a good barrier and also help prevent potential STIs.
The Best Tips for Blowjobs
Blowjobs, also known as fellatio, are the practice of performing oral sex on someone with a penis.
Typically this involves sucking on the penis, and can include paying special attention to the head, or glans, of the penis, using one’s hands to stimulate the shaft, and/or “deep throating.”
Be a Tease
Treat the penis like a clitoris and do some teasing before diving in. Vrangalova recommends kissing and licking the shaft all over, including the balls. Eye contact can be hot, and enthusiasm always is.
Switch It Up
When the penis in your mouth, experiment with different speeds while staying consistent. This is especially important as the orgasm is near.
RELATED: How to Get the Best Blowjob Ever
“The delicate frenulum area (where the head and shaft meet) is often a particularly pleasurable area to have stimulated,” says Hall.
Use Your Hands
Vrangalova says it’s important you incorporate your hands, recommending you stroke the base of his penis and play with his balls — but be gentle! For more, see our guide on testicle stimulation.
Make Your Mouth a Nice Environment
“Don’t use your teeth and wrap your lips over your teeth while sucking,” says Vrangalova, suggesting you keep your mouth wet at all times. “Drink some water, spit on it or use flavored lube.”
Do Some Exploring
“If he’s having a good time, try briefly licking his perineum and see how he responds,” says Vrangalova. “If he likes it, it might be an invitation to incorporate some rimming or a finger in his anus … a lot of guys like this during a blowjob.”
(If you’re more of an ass fan, we’ve got a guide to rimjobs, too).
The Best Toys for Oral Sex
Though not required, sex toys can enhance an already pleasurable experience. To help you find which are best for oral sex, we asked our experts.
My Secret Screaming O Vibrating Lipstick
“Adding some gentle vibration to your blowjob can feel amazing,” says Hall. To do this comfortably, she recommends you run My Secret Screaming O Vibrating Lipstick along the penis or gently tease the frenulum with the toy while licking the tip of the penis. If he’s comfortable with it, feel free to use the toy on the scrotum, perineum and anus.
BILLY 2
“If anal stimulation is enjoyed, you may want to add a favorite anal sex toy for additional stimulation,” suggests Hall. A great toy for beginners is LELO’s BILLY 2. It fits like a glove, has eight different vibration settings and is easy and comfortable to insert and remove.
LELO SONA 2
LELO also has its own line of oral sex toys, a top seller being the LELO SONA 2. It uses sonic waves to create a unique sucking motion that’s deep yet gentle without making direct contact with the clitoris. Sound like magic? That’s because it is.
Beginner’s Bondage Fantasy Kit
If your partner’s into a little BDSM with their pleasure, oral sex can be better with bondage. No dungeon required — just some hand-cuffs and blindfolds are all you need.
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