How To Do The Least Sexy Deed When Your Girl’s Around

It takes time to get comfortable with a new partner. You learn the little things that make each other tick and secrets are slowly revealed about your personal habits due to the increased amount of time spent together. She learned that while deep in sleep you dry hump a pillow and you’ve discovered that all of her hair isn’t real. Isn’t it amazing what they can do with extensions these days? What about the little matter of pooping? For the first few months, the topic goes unspoken because you refuse to do it in her presence and because she reveals that women don’t actually go No. 2. That all ends after a take-out dinner of…
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