Your 101 Guide To Understanding Those ‘Golden Shower’ References
While it might appear to be a seemingly new sexual activity, being turned on by bodily fluids is a relatively common desire, according to the experts. Golden showers, aka “water sports” are a sexual desire that more people experience that you might realize. The fetish for them is called “urolagnia,” meaning “lust for urine.”
“It is more common than most people would think. It is as common as any other fetish that people have relating to sex,” psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez explains. And though it might make you feel a bit grossed out (or get you excited, if that’s your thing), receiving, taking or giving a golden shower is often an exercise of trust within your relationship and being vulnerable. From what a golden shower really is to how to talk to your partner about it, the sex experts give their best scoop:
What Is A Golden Shower?
Most people (and hey, we might argue all people at some point) have peed while taking a shower, either at their home or while on vacation. The color of your urine mixed with the pouring water creates a yellow-ish shade and that’s how you might think about a golden shower. Except instead of swirling down the drain, the sexual fetish includes performing that act on someone else or having them perform it on you.
“It is during the act of foreplay of intercourse when one of the couple — more commonly the female to the male — urinates on their partner as part of the activity,” Martinez explains. “It is a sexual act of dominance and submission, with the person doing the urination as the dominant, and the one being urinated on being the one being dominated.”
If you can wrap your mind around it, just like you might enjoy finishing your load on her face (or her breasts or anywhere) – you might get another satisfaction from her peeing on you or if she’s into it, letting you pee on her. “For some people body fluids are a very erotic thing. Urine is one of the body fluids that is also eroticized, but not as openly as other fluids like ejaculate and spit,” explains sex instructor and expert Hunter Riley.
Why Do People Like Golden Showers?
If the smell, the idea and the visual of this act doesn’t have you reaching for your willy, you may be wondering why in the world someone would willingly pee or be peed on. The experts offer some insight on what it could be a fun – and yes, unique – flavor to add to their sexual routine.
“Some people enjoy the degradation or humiliation component of it, some people enjoy engaging in it because it’s taboo. There’s no wrong or right reason to engage in it. As long as you and your partners are being safe and consensual, it’s normal and healthy to explore your fetishes,” Riley explained.
Especially if your relationship is thrives with a little S&M or role playing, adding in the lubricant of a golden shower could take it to the next level. As sex educator and host of the live sex Q&A variety show Sex Ed A Go-Go, Dirty Lola explains: “The dominant/submissive dynamic and the humiliation aspect sometimes go hand-in-hand with a couple who enjoys golden showers. Peeing on the one you love can be seen as marking your territory.”
Are Golden Showers Healthy?
It’s true that urine has many healing aspects — it cures a painful jellyfish sting, can act as a natural disinfectant when you’re out of options and if boiled, can actually be consumed to save you from dying of thirst. But it also is full of bacteria, making this particular fetish a curious case for health.
But what works in your favor? The actual composition of urine is 95 percent water (hence why you technically could drink it) and 5% nutrients and minerals like calcium, iron, magnesium and zinc, according to clinical sexologist, Dawn Michael.
“As long as the people engaging in piss play are consenting to it, it is a totally fine fetish to be involved in. Urine is sterile, people can drink their own urine without posing a health risk, so the main concern with piss play to make sure you and your partner negotiate it and get consent on when, where and how of how to engage with this fetish,” Riley explains.
What’s The History Of Golden Showers?
While the actual sex term “golden shower” has been around since the 1940s, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary didn’t sanction it officially in its pages until 1968, as defined as “the act of urinating on another persona, usually as part of a sex act.”
“The term made its first most noted appearance in popular culture in former callgirl Xaviera Hollander’s best-selling memoir The Happy Hooker in 1972. Since then the term has popped up in music, movies, TV and politics,” Lola notes.
While urolagnia doesn’t receive a ton of exposure in popular media, there is an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie dates a politician who requests a golden shower after they’ve been dating for a while. After much deliberation, Carrie decides she can’t go through with it, thus ending their relationship.
But if you’re interested in trying this act and it’s important to your overall sexual happiness, approaching the topic in a meaningful, patient way is important.
How Can You Talk To Your Partner About Getting Into Golden Showers?
Before you go balls-to-the-wall (or ahem, the toilet), Riley suggests talking about sexual fetishes, in general.
“I highly recommend filling out a yes/no/maybe checklist with your partner to get an idea of what you all are interested in. Getting more involved in the kink and fetish scenes in your city might also be a great way to build community with other people who share your fetishes. Asking them how they brought it up with their partners might also help give you ideas of where to start,” she notes.
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