What Women Really Fantasize About, Revealed
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Women fantasize about sex. Probably more than you realize. In fact, probably a lot more than you realize. And what they’re fantasizing about may shock you. The way they seem — even the most pristine, the most banal, the most G-rated women you know — isn’t always the way they are. The truth is that they are having some very dirty thoughts. And…. they’re having them right in the same room with you, right across the conference table from you, even right next to you.
They may look like they’re deciding how to respond to an email, or pontificating between two rug choices from the Restoration Hardware catalogue, or even pensively examining the landscape out the window — but that’s not what they’re doing. They’re not focused on those things at all. Rather, their minds are a million miles away from what you think they’re on… but their bodies are very present. Below are some of the most prevalent sexual fantasies that women are having — and the reasons why they’re having them, and what those fantasies may be doing for them, besides the obvious.
RELATED: The 10 Most Common Male Sexual Fantasies
Why should you care? Because a lot of these fantasies are about things they don’t want to tell you about. They’re afraid you’ll judge them, or you’ll think less of them. They’re ashamed of them, or they think you might be insulted because they’re thinking about someone or something other than what they have with you. And sometimes they don’t tell you because the sex they’re having in their head is so powerful it scares them a little. But the best way to have truly great sex and a truly intimate relationship is with honesty, so by knowing what they may be thinking about, and what’s turning them on in their fantasies, you can bring some of that fantasy they’re having in their heads, into your mutual sex lives — whether it’s by talking dirty and reciting what they’re thinking, or by actually doing what it is they’re fantasizing about, with them.
Because you’re now about to be in on what’s going on inside their heads, as well as other places in their bodies.
Sex With A Stranger
Women may tell you that they don’t know you well enough to sleep with, but the reality is that many women love the idea of having sex that’s no strings attached, with no trace of responsibility when it’s over. The idea of having sex with a stranger means you have no history and no future, and that’s freeing. Women feel that they can do anything and have anything done to them without the guilt that comes from those awkward moments when you see someone the next day, week, month or year — you’re not going to see this guy again is the fantasy, so who cares what happens? Sex with a stranger eliminates any concerns about what they think of you, or what your friends will think if pillow talk becomes whisper down the lane. There’s a freedom in sex with a stranger that women fantasize about because the possibilities are endless and the privacy is like a cone of silence.
Sex With A Woman — Or Two
Ménage a trois, or just sex with a single woman, is a fantasy that’s on most women’s sexual bucket lists. And in spite of gender fluidity being all the rage, this one is still taboo enough in most areas to inspire great sexual fantasies. The reality is that most women don’t have threesomes in real life because of the emotional complications that follow. But in fantasy, sex with a woman, or a couple of guys or a guy and a girl — is all possible and very exciting. Some women take it a step further and imagine their spouse or partner watching, which heightens their sexual pleasure because it’s beyond what’s normal, and on some level, they want to be seen like this. Voyeurism is an added layer that can really heat up this sexual fantasy for women.
The Personality Flip
Women fantasize about being their alter egos during sex. If they’re demure in real life, they have sexual fantasies about being take-charge in bed. And women who rule the board room often fantasize about being the maid, or some more subservient character during sex. Real life can create pressure, and someone who’s got to be politically correct all day at job, will be having sex fantasies where she’s the cheerleader or even the stripper, escort or prostitute during sex. Sex fantasies where she’s someone who’s very opposite of her “day job” aren’t just hot, they’re healing because they’re helping the woman having these fantasies work through the discrepancies she’s feeling between who she presents herself to be, and the part of her she doesn’t present, but wants to express and can’t. She needs these fantasies.
Being Dominated
Being dominated, sexually, is a chronically sizzling fantasy for many women. With a nod to 50 Shades of Grey, which rejuvenated the classic female fantasy of becoming the subject of bondage and dominance by a lover obsessed with her sexually, this fantasy still gets women going — and probably always will. Hardcore versions of this fantasy turn up in all kinds of risqué books, and there’s a reason it’s a cult favorite. Women buy these books, watch these movies and continue the story in their own heads… and further south. They love the idea of a guy who sees them primarily as a sexual object and is obsessed with them in this way. The fact that this isn’t very politically correct makes it all the hotter. They’re not supposed to feel this way, and they do. The sexually charged part of this fantasy is that the man does it all — he focuses all his attention on her, and she doesn’t reciprocate because she can’t, nor does he want her to. His pleasure comes from him giving her hers with his passion.
Virginity Sex
Virginity is iconic. It inspired great art in every genre and medium, and fights to the death have been fought over a woman’s virginity. But while virginity may be epic, the actual act of losing it, for most women, is less so. It can be scary, fraught with anxiety about doing it right, messy, painful — all in all, not a great time. But, if she’d known then what she knows now, it could have been glorious — and that’s where her fantasies come in. She can be like a virgin in her mind (somebody cue Madonna), and that’s where great sex fantasies always start. Reliving losing her virginity by fantasizing losing it the way she wished she could have is a popular female fantasy. Madonna’s song wasn’t a hit because of the music — it was the concept! Women recreate that iconic moment of losing their virginity, amped up with their real time knowledge of their bodies and sex, making virginity a popular fantasy. And it’s not just about losing it. Taking it is a fantasy source, too, because the power of ushering someone through their first time is heady and sexy.
Sex With A Younger Man
Being with a man who’s got a great, youthful body and an energetic spirit, and who maybe doesn’t have the experience she does, is exactly what makes this fantasy so spectacular. Looks like cougars are onto something! A young man with an eager outlook on sex and who is very interested in being taught how to please her beyond what he knows because of his youth is incredibly grateful for her experience in this fantasy. She’s not just enjoying his stamina and his abs, she’s being worshipped for her ability to be sexual and to teach him. Countless stories feature younger women getting with older men and turn the young woman into a protege, but in her sex fantasies about younger men, she’s the one who teaches him how to do it, and he excels. Which works for her!
Sex With An Amazing Lover
Approximately 10% of all women have never had an orgasm. And per Planned Parenthood, up to one-third of all women have trouble reaching orgasm during sex. Almost 80% of women can’t quite get there during regular intercourse. There’s a lot of bad, lazy, boring sex out there! And, there are even women who’ve been married for decades who don’t know what great sex is like. They know it’s out there — they just haven’t had any, themselves. And even if they can do it — alone — they’ve never had an orgasm with a man, and they want to. That’s why they fantasize about having sex with a man who is the ultimate lover. He spends time with her, romances her, cares about her, caresses her, knows what to do and how long to do it, and he slowly teases her into the best sex she’s ever had. She may not have this guy in her real life, but she fantasizes about him.
Five-Star Hotel Sex
Women don’t just love romantic cliches that are a little bit spicy, they fantasize sex around them. Having sex in a four star hotel with luxurious sheets on an oversized bed, and chilled champagne and luscious strawberries delivered by room service nearby, is the start of common sex fantasies that women harbor. The bearskin rug by the fireplace is where they do it the second time. The sexy, pristine shower with rain shower heads and sprays on sides is where they do it the third time. And if you back the fantasy up, they met in the elegant hotel bar and nursed martinis while having a sexual stare down that makes the gilt-encrusted elevator, a tempting way to start the hotel sex-scapade. This is a fairy tale that isn’t for kids.
Sex In Public
The thrill of possibly getting caught having sex is what makes this fantasy a hot one — especially for adrenaline junkies who like a fast pace and a cool challenge. Whether it’s sex in first class under the airline blankets, or under the table at the Michelin star restaurant between courses, or in the bathroom during a party where the etiquette level is high and the guests who would find out if you get caught are high level and influential, sex in these public places is what women fantasize about. If this is their favorite fantasy, they may up the ante and fantasize about doing it in the corner of a crowded subway car or in a car in the parking lot at work during lunch.
Sex Clubs And Swinging Parties
Women fantasize about doing it at parties where everyone around them is having sex, and they’re invited to join in. The thrill of doing it with multiple partners — one after the other or more than one at once — is extremely primal, especially because it’s all out in the open and if there are any closed doors, they are easily opened. This allows the women fantasizing to abandon constraining conventions and be purely sexual, socially. These are really base fantasies and very animalistic. In the fantasies, these women join in, or leave to join a better or more intriguing sexual situation. Women have organic, pure sexual natures that get socialized and diluted and these types of fantasies allow them to get in touch with those basic urges.
Having Sex With Her Friend’s Man
There are certain people she’s just not supposed to think about having sex with — like her best friend’s husband, her husband’s brother or the delivery guy who just brought her a package. But she can’t help it. It’s these guys who are attractive and nice to her, and fly under the radar of sexual possibilities, because they’re so familiar, that become the object of her sexual fantasies. Having sex with the guys she’s not supposed to have sex with because they’re as much a part of her life as furniture, is what makes them interesting and sexually intriguing. They’re safe and familiar, and at the same time, foreign — and while she’s probably wondered what sex with them was like, in real life, in her fantasies, she answers that question for herself.
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