9 Go-To Sex Positions If You and Your Partner Literally Don’t See Eye to Eye
While it may be true that opposites attract, love making has its added challenges when you’re doing it with someone at a different height than you are. Figuring out what feels best for you and your partner comes with the territory of any new relationship, but doing the dirty with someone who’s a foot (or more) shorter than you are? Well, that definitely has its disadvantages.
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Standing positions are tough to execute, shower sex becomes a hazard and for the positions that do technically “work,” you lose out on those little things that make a big difference – like the intimacy of eye contact during the act, for example.
The good news? Whether you’re having trouble finding the right fit or just want to change things up with some newer positions, there are plenty of new angles to explore that’ll satisfy both of you.
Below, you’ll find a few expert-recommended positions to try tonight that’ll even the playing field if you and your partner are two very, very different heights.
Lowdown Doggy-Style
While doggy-style is one of the classics, if your partner’s hips are too low, the deep penetration this position offers can actually end up feeling uncomfortable (and even painful). To fix this, Gigi Engle, SKYN’s sex and intimacy expert, suggests giving the lowdown doggy a go.
Have your partner lie flat on her stomach and enter her from behind, resting flat against her body. “This position gets you everything doggy-style has to offer, without penetration at an uncomfortable (and painful) angle,” says Engle.
Spread Eagle
For an intimate position that still allows for eye contact, Astroglide’s resident sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly says to give the spread eagle a try.
“One partner lies on the bed with their legs up in the air; the other partner stands at the side of the bed and holds onto their partner’s ankles,” she explains. “If the standing partner’s crotch is taller than the height of the bed, place a pillow or two beneath the hips of the other partner to increase their height.”
Spooning
As it’s easy to line up accordingly when spooning, this classic position is still on the table for partners of any size. Both partners lay down in the spooning position, setting up so he can enter her from behind.
“If the big spoon feels their arm is too long or it falls asleep beneath the weight of their partner, the small spoon can place pillows beneath their head to create some space between their neck and the bed,” says O’Reilly. “The big spoon can simply slide their arm into this space.”
Yab Yum
This intense position is perfect for partners of any size due to both sets of legs being engaged in ways where height won’t matter.
“One person is in cross legged style on the floor and the other wraps their legs around their partner for a very intimate type of sex to include deep eye contact and deep penetration,” explains Jenni Skyler, PhD, sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist for AdamEve. “It’s not just pleasurable for genital stimulation but also for emotional intimacy.”
Bedside Lovers
If you’re considerably taller than your partner, have her use the bed as extra height in this position.
“One partner stands on the floor next to the bed; the other partner kneels on the side of the bed upright facing away so that the standing partner can approach from behind,” says O’Reilly. “You can use pillows beneath the shorter partner’s knees to adjust the height and angle. The rear partner can reach around to provide additional stimulation with their hands, and both partners enjoy full-upper body contact.”
Three-Legged Stand
Standing sex positions are harder to achieve with a height difference, but the creativity of the three-legged stand makes it easy to execute. All you need to do is hold one of your partner’s legs up as you enter her astride.
“This position lets you keep your balance during shallow penetration and doesn’t force your partner to hold your entire weight (a daring feat for anyone, to be sure),” says Engle. “To make up for height difference, utilize any stead ledges you have in your house – staircase can do the trick, just be sure your back is against the wall.”
Titillating Tilt
For couples with a height difference, the right position can make all the difference. But as Dominnique Karetsos, resident sex expert at MysteryVibe points out, adding a toy into the mix can go a long way to ensure you’ve got things covered from every angle.
“Have the receiver bend over into a table top position on all fours as the giver enters from behind, with their knees slightly wider apart,” she explains. “Place a sex toy on the receiver’s clitoris and have them tighten their legs around it to feel it pulsate throughout their body.”
The perpendicular angle allows you both to easily align without compromising any feel good spots.
Booster Seat for Lift Off
Sure, it’s important for everything to … align when you’re having sex with a shorter partner, but this position also solves for the common problem of having your partner in reach in other ways. Meaning, it allows you access to other sensitive parts like her neck and breasts, too.
“Have the giving partner lower onto a seat (edge of a bed or a chair both will work well),” says Karetsos. “The receiver then lowers themselves so they’re sitting in their lap, finding the perfect rhythm with up-and-down or grinding motions.”
Cowgirl
Hand over the reins and let your partner control the speed and penetration level – ideal for smaller partners. “If the woman on top is very small or if her partner has a larger belly, she can be on her feet in a more crouched position versus on her knees,” says Skyler. “She can even reverse this and do reverse cowgirl for a little bit of different stimulation.”
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